Contents


Ten Years Behind Bars


[beer] From 1977 through 1980 i was the manager of The Criterion Hotel in the Sydney CBD. The hotel was owned by Paul Byers and contained 3 bars, a bottle shop and the first char grill in Sydney. This was not a 'cook-your-own' affair but a credible French Bistro run by Guy Casanova trading under the name 'Chez Guyom' (can You believe it? Apparently Tooth's did not credit Sydneysiders with the cosmopolitan maturity to understand (or pronounce) Chez Guillaume). In addition the hotel offered 28 rooms (some self contained) as excellent central, budget accommodation. The building was classified by the National Trust in the late seventies (sorry, forget the exact date) and is still standing as a monument to art deco Sydney architecture of the '30s (You can see a photo here).

They gathered 'round the Tavern Bar...

[beer] In 1981 i moved to the Strathfield Hotel and managed it until 1983. Strathfield is somewhat removed from the CBD in Sydney and is an affluent, inner western suburb. The hotel itself is directly opposite Strathfield railway station which is a major change station comprising 8 platforms, hence the 'nickname' of the hotel 'Platform 9' (although given the way the platforms are numbered i believe the hotel should be 'Platform 0'). The Strathfield Hotel is a large concern belonging to the Whelan family. It consists of 4 bars, bottle shop in addition to a 'drive-in' bottle shop and a cafeteria style restaurant. 42 rooms were available for budget to medium range and entertainment was provided 2 to 3 nights each week.

[beer] In 1983 the third phase of my hotel managerial life began when i took on responsibility of the Victoria Hotel in Orange NSW. Orange is a city of about 35,000 situated on the tablelands about 250km west of Sydney. The Victoria Hotel is the oldest licence in Orange and had been in my family since 1925 when my grandfather moved to Orange after many years as licensee of the Goolma Hotel. The 'Vic' was at that stage a 2 bar "working class" hotel with the main attraction being a fiercely loyal established core of `regulars'. If ever the Australian spirit of mateship and camaraderie were personified, it was represented by the patrons of my home.

In 1986 i left Orange to begin a degree at the University of Wollongong and in 1987 my father sold the hotel (not without some tears from the whole family) and he and my mother retired to live out their days in Orange.

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Hospitality Training

Principles of Bar Tending in conjunction with the Orange Community Training and Education Centre (O.C.T.E.C.)and the Community Youth Support Scheme (C.Y.S.S.)
Professional Waiter and Liquor Service Course in conjunction with OCTECand Skillshare. In both courses it was my responsibility to:

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Mathematics Education

Lecture and tutor courses at University of Wollongong, University of New England, University of Newcastle; including

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Caught in the Net

[Granpa]
I used to be with it once.
Then they changed what 'it' was.
Now what I'm with isn't 'it' any more,
and what's 'it' seems weird and scary to me.
... And it'll happen to you.

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Send Joe an insulting email (but make it classy).
Nothing like old Bard S. for a good put-down.

Combine one word from each of the three columns below, prefaced with ``Thou'':

artless base-court apple-john
bawdy bat-fowling baggage
beslubbering beef-witted barnacle
bootless beetle-headed bladder
churlish boil-brained boar-pig
cockered clapper-clawed bugbear
clouted clay-brained bum-bailey
craven common-kissing canker-blossom
currish crook-pated clack-dish
dankish dismal-dreaming clotpole
dissembling dizzy-eyed coxcomb
droning doghearted codpiece
errant dread-bolted death-token
fawning earth-vexing dewberry
fobbing elf-skinned flap-dragon
froward fat-kidneyed flax-wench
frothy fen-sucked flirt-gill
gleeking flap-mouthed foot-licker
goatish fly-bitten fustilarian
gorbellied folly-fallen giglet
impertinent fool-born gudgeon
infectious full-gorged haggard
jarring guts-griping harpy
loggerheaded half-faced hedge-pig
lumpish hasty-witted horn-beast
mammering hedge-born hugger-mugger
mangled hell-hated joithead
mewling idle-headed lewdster
paunchy ill-breeding lout
pribbling ill-nurtured maggot-pie
puking knotty-pated malt-worm
puny milk-livered mammet
qualling motley-minded measle
rank onion-eyed minnow
reeky plume-plucked miscreant
roguish pottle-deep moldwarp
ruttish pox-marked mumble-news
saucy reeling-ripe nut-hook
spleeny rough-hewn pigeon-egg
spongy rude-growing pignut
surly rump-fed puttock
tottering shard-borne pumpion
unmuzzled sheep-biting ratsbane
vain spur-galled scut
venomed swag-bellied skainsmate
villainous tardy-gaited strumpet
warped tickle-brained varlot
wayward toad-spotted vassal
weedy unchin-snouted whey-face
yeasty weather-bitten wagtail

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